Well...

Apparently I'm really plain and boring. That's what I've been told a time or two anyway. I'm not perfect (and believe me, I've tried to be). I've often been told I'm a fighter, not a lover. And I guess that's true. No one has been able to change me yet, and they have most certainly tried. What you see is NOT what you're going to get. I'm a totally different person after you get to know me. And no, you probably won't like any of it. I guess most of that is my problem.

I'm nothing special. I hear people say "no regrets, just lessons learned" alot. Screw that. I regret alot of things I've done, and I'd change every bit of who I am if I could. I'm trying so hard to forget my past. Yeah, I know that's what made me who I am today. So what? I don't like who I am, and that's really none of your business... Harriet...

I've learned the hard way not to let one person be your whole world. It will soon crumble, and then you have nothing. The only person you can ever count on is yourself. Don't let anyone lie to you.

I hate the fact that I'm what most people call a "country girl". Buuuullllll. I do NOT belong here. Denver, Colorado is my destination, and I swear I'll be there one day. With or without the people I know now, it makes no difference to me anymore. If you don't care, I'll stop caring, too.

I've recently decided I'm living my own life and I don't care about pleasing you, or you, or the kid next to you. You've got your own life, use it. Not mine.

I don't have enough confidence, probably. Except on some things. I also don't have a lot of will-power or dedication to anything. I'm not going to fight you for anything. If you want it that bad, you can have it. I was fine before, and I'll make do after.

Some of my family means alot to me, and some of them don't. I don't care if that hurts anybody's feelings. You didn't have to read this.
Stepping on toes is something I'm getting fairly good at here lately.

I like to think I'm nice. But then again that's pretty much up to you to decide.

I'm a girly girl. Not as much as some girls. I don't do a whole lot of pink, or purses, and what not, but do NOT bring a bug, dirt, or anything like that anywhere near me. Especially spiders. I will scream and cry like a baby until it's dead. Don't think I won't.

I've liked some one ALOT before, and that seemed to backfire on me. Nice to know you let other people's opinions of you keep you from doing what you want to do. I guess that's my loss, huh? Oh well.

I usually get on people's nerves by either not talking at all, talking like a counselor when I DO talk, or correcting other people's grammar when they talk. Sorry, but I can't help it. Bad grammar is the one thing that never fails to annoy the heck out of me.

I'd like to say I don't and won't change for anybody, but I can't. I probably would if some one I really liked came to me and told me to change. Simply because I let people boss me around too easily. I should probably work on that.

Photography is a small passion of mine. I'm not that good, but I really do love it. I can't see myself making a career out of it simply because something else is calling my name.

I don't smile or laugh alot just randomly. But that doesn't mean I'm upset. I just find it annoying when people strut around smiling like an idiot and laughing and giggling about random nonsense. Perky people are pretty annoying. Which is probably why I love Samantha and Evan so much. They get it.

I'm NOT stupid. I'm actually a very smart girl. AND just for the record, the main goal I have for my life is to make every one sorry for how they've been to me for the past fifteen years. One of these days they will be.

I don't speak my mind alot, but when some one asks me something I'm going to tell them what I really think. And this tends to get me in trouble sometimes. I'm not one for sugar-coating things.

I'm not much of a lover, to be honest. (I said that earlier). So there are only about fifteen people I really* love. And maybe three or four that I would die for. And I'd do it without a second thought. Especially for my sweet girl.

I don't trust people. I honestly think that everyone would sell some one out for either theirself or some one else if it came down to it. I know I would.

I'm really stubborn and hard-headed. I don't take much advice from anyone. If I don't want to hear what you have to say I'll either tell you or just flat-out ignore you.

The hardest lesson I've ever learned is having to forget the people who forget me. It hurts to let people go, but if they want to walk away then what other choice do I have? I'm not going to force some one to stick around when they don't care anymore.

So many people have told me that life isn't easy, but they promised me that it would always be worth it. I've yet to see that they were right. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. So far in life the only thing I have to live for is writing.

I'm a nerd. Not a lot of people like nerds (at Adamsville anyway). But hey, I am what I am. The best thing about being a nerd though, is that nobody starts drama with the nerds.

When I tell you I love you, I mean it. I don't say that to just anybody. But I'm not going to keep saying it if you're not going to show any sort of reaction to it at all.

I wear my heart on my sleeve alot. More than I should. I get upset over the littlest things. Everything must be perfect, and if it's not, I have a melt down. Always.

It really does take a lot to make me mad. But when I'm mad, I'm really mad. I get that from my dad. I also tend to hold grudges for a while. And I don't care if that's good or bad. That's me.

I wish I was a better person. But I guess there have to be some good and some bad in this world. And yes, I do mean that I think I'm a bad person. Since November anyway. I've been told I am enough.
 
I don't know why I felt the need to pour my heart out right now. But I'm glad I did. I feel alot better. For now anyway.

Learn to Talk, You Idiot!

I hate it when I run into some dumb hillbilly that can't talk right. For crying out loud, I know toddlers with better grammar than Larry the Cable Guy.

NEWSFLASH #1: It's pronounced "Estill Springs", not "Estale Sprangs".

NEWSFLASH #2: It's not funny when you talk like that. ^^^

NEWSFLASH #3: It's also not cute.

NEWSFLASH #4: Overalls are not attractive. Ever. I'd rather my daughter date a guy with his pants around his knees than one in overalls and hay in his mouth.

NEWSFLASH #5: Lynard Skynard is the one who sings "Sweet Home Alabama". Let's keep it that way.

This is one more reason I don't like small towns. I hate running into people in Wal-Mart and them saying stupid things like "Oh well hay there lil lady. How's it goin' over there where bouts you live? How's ya momma 'n 'em? Tell 'em I said hi now, ya hurr?"

People like that are the reason people look down on Southern people. Because the ones they meet talk like idiots and make the rest of us look bad. At least TRY to sound educated when you talk.

Humor the ones of us who are normal.

Please.

Mom and Pop Shops.

They absolutely SUCK. I hate small town stores and diners. Especially when you walk in one and some old hillbilly in overalls comes out to take your order and looks like he hasn't showered in a year. Umm, thanks, Jethro, but I'll pass on the good eats.

And they all have that smell to them. Seriously. Who likes that smell anyway? No one, that's who. No one likes that smell. And you know what I'm talking about. (No, not the smell from Jethro this time). That smell is the smell that is in every small town diner and Mom and Pop Shoppe in America. And not only that, but it stays with you for two hours after you've left.

Another thing that irritates me about these places is the food. I'm just not one for tradtional home cooked food I guess. I also don't like not knowing who is touching my food. My dad finds it odd I'll let a Mexican fix my food and not a "good old Southern boy".

Well, if the Mexican screws it up, he gets deported. If Jethro screws it up you get a coupon for a free oil change.

I'm sticking with Pedro.